It’s tough enough thinking that your partner’s family might not like you as much as you hoped they would. It’s tougher still when you know that for a fact and when they don’t even invite you over for Christmas.
One redditor shared how she and her husband got into a huge argument that started when his folks decided that they only want him over for Xmas this year. Deciding that he would, in fact, be traveling to spend time with his family alone, without his wife, the husband got angry that she didn’t pack his bags for the trip and called her “petty.”
The redditor turned to the AITA online community for advice and their verdict, wondering if she was wrong not to pack his bags, even though that’s what she usually does when they travel anywhere together. Scroll down for the full story and let us know in the comments what you think of the entire complicated situation. What would you do if you were in the redditor’s shoes, dear Pandas? What’s the best way forward?
A woman shared how she and her husband got into a huge argument over some of his bags that she didn’t pack
Here’s the full story. Everything started when the woman learned her husband’s family doesn’t like her very much
The redditor’s post on the AITA subreddit caught many an internet user’s attention. The story got 22k upvotes in less than a day (or, as I like to think of it, roughly a thousand upvotes each and every hour). What’s more, other redditors gave the author of the post several dozen Reddit awards.
Relationship expert and self-love coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda during an earlier interview that to get over so-called “post-argument hangovers” requires physical closeness, like “a hug or a 6-second kiss,” for the sake of co-regulation.
“[Co-regulation is] how we self soothe as infants; a baby cries and a caregiver comes to cuddle and soothe the baby. As adults, co-regulation is very powerful and something we can use to our advantage. So even though you may not feel like hugging or kissing your partner post-argument, as soon as you can bring yourself to do so, go for it. Your nervous system will thank you as it regulates with your partner’s nervous system by sensing their heart rate and breathing,” she said how couples can reconnect with one another after fights.
Meanwhile, dating expert Dan Bacon told me that there’s some confusion among some couples who think that married life is exactly like dating.
“When you’re in a marriage for real, you approach the relationship in a way where you are in it for life and therefore, you sincerely care about how you make the other person feel and their experience in the relationship on a daily basis. They are literally the most important person to you and you act accordingly,” Dan, the founder of The Modern Man, explained to Bored Panda.
“Dating is for now and marriage is for life, so people’s behavior and treatment of each other usually adjusts to suit that,” he said. “I say ‘usually’ because some people make the mistake of treating a marriage more like a dating relationship.”
According to the expert, when couples “marry for real,” they embrace their vows and aim to be together forever, not temporarily. Marriage, in these cases, is a life-changing step. “It’s a huge part of your life experience because the other person is literally going to be there the whole way, so you don’t want to mess up the happy, in love dynamic that you’re experiencing together. You want the love and good times to last for life, so it encourages you to be a better person in the relationship.”