Families are supposed to be there for each other. Our parents help us grow, teach us the ways of the world, and protect us from the negativities of society. Sadly, a lot of bad family stories happen every day. Such is today’s story of a woman who was disowned by her family 9 years ago.

The Story

Reddit user, Born-Problem-8280, shared her painful story on AITA (Am I the A**hole?) where she asked the community whether she did the right thing by not supporting her parents when they disowned her in the first place. She wrote:

“I (28F) was raised by super religious parents. It was a fight to be able to go to a normal college and not a Christian one with weird rules. When I did that they said they will not be paying for my schooling until I ‘come back to the right path”

“After struggling for a couple of months a friend told me that the str*p club she was working at was hiring. I have been dancing my whole life and have a good figure so I was hired pretty fast.”

“A few months in I dropped out of college because I was making serious money ( about $3k for a bad week and up to $11k for a really good one). When my parents found out they disowned me. The same goes for all of my extended family except for 2 cousins.”

“Fast forward 9 years, I own my house outright, a Tesla, don’t have debt, I also own an apartment building that I rent (str*pping has a short lifespan) and investments.”

“Now my parents contacted me. Apparently, my father lost his business during COVID, my mom has always been an SHM, they declared bankruptcy and are really struggling (they live in an old camper). Also apparently my mom is diabetic now and my dad has always had heart problems. They wanted my help.”

“I said no, I don’t have parents anymore. And furthermore, according to their religion and church, my money was earned while sinning so to use it is to damn your soul to hell and I really didn’t want that for them. My mom started crying and my dad said that they didn’t know where they went wrong with me.”

“That was the last of it from them, a couple of aunts and uncles called but they changed their ‘family helps family’ tune very fast when I asked why they weren’t helping them themselves.”

“But now a couple of weeks later I am starting to feel like I was an AH to them. Because a month’s income from str*pping would make a really big change for them but I won’t even miss it that bad.”

“So AITA?”

The Responses

Reddit’s community completely supported this woman for what she did. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the best comments:

InShapeTrucker said:

“NTA. They disowned you. And now they’re only contacting you because they need help. No to make amends for their horrific actions. And you’re absolutely right. If the rest of the family lived true to their words they used to guilt you, your parents would have help and a place to stay in a heartbeat. They’re hypocrites. They all need to apologize first and repair the relationship (if that’s even possible) before any help is considered.”

thirdtryisthecharm wrote:


“Though in your case I’d be tempted to send a month’s income with a note that says ‘This is thanks for the good time in my childhood. But you disowned me, so do not contact me ever again regarding money – this is a one time gift.’ That both resolves any mixed feelings you have, and makes you the bigger person. But to be clear, you don’t owe them the money – it’s about what you want to do.”

Ok_Butterscotch_2054 commented:

“NTA, I mean they didn’t even apologize and they are expecting you to just take care of them like they were the world’s best parents?”

“Now on the other hand if a month’s income can give you peace of mind then go ahead, count it as charity and get the good karma.”

MadamMarshmallows chimed in:

“NTA. They don’t get to say ‘YOUR MONEY IS SINFUL, YOU’RE NOT OUR DAUGHTER!’ and then come begging for a handout almost a decade later when their finances are f****ed. You can’t have it both ways, parents. They decided religion was more important than their child, and they can continue living with that decision.”

azsue123 replied:

“NTA.” “If you want, donate money to help others who aren’t complete AHs.” “In the end, you’re not the AH either way” “If you decide to help them, do it for yourself, not anyone else. It’s ok to not help or to help. Just don’t expect their attitude to change, nor for them to be grateful.” This post has over 1800 comments at the time of writing this article, you can read them on Reddit here.

Our Take

NTA. We feel for this woman, we can’t even imagine the trauma she went through when he parents disowned her. She didn’t do anything wrong and we hope she finds happiness and peace in her life – she deserves it!

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