Managing a blended family requires a lot of planning and cooperation from all involved parents.
A father recently fought with his wife because she wanted him to skip picking up his young children on his custody weekend. His wife had just given birth.
He asked people on Reddit if what he did was wrong.
“I have four kids from prior relationships, and my wife has one,” he wrote. “She has full custody of her son, but I have two of my kids here full time and weekends for the other two. My wife gave birth on Wednesday and came home from the hospital on Thursday. The kids and I have been doing our best to keep the house as quiet and relaxing for her as possible.”
She asked him not to bring his kids over because she feels like it’s ‘too much.’
“On Friday she asked me not to pick my youngest kids up, because she feels the house is already unbearable with three kids, and five is too much,” he continued. “I told her she knows that isn’t possible. That’s not how custody agreements work. Besides, how would that make my kids feel? She said she just gave birth, so her feelings are important. I said I’m not flaking on my kids, so we need to figure something else out.”
He went to pick up his kids while she was taking a nap.
“Friday when it was time for me to pick up all the kids my wife was napping. I didn’t want to potentially wake her, so I told my oldest (he’s 19) to hold the baby until I got back,” the father wrote.
“When I got back with all the kids, my oldest and wife were screaming at each other. The best I can tell is that she woke up and went looking for me, my son told her where I went, she called me a thoughtless prick, my son called her a hateful witch, and then they started screaming at each other.”
After yelling at his teenager, she started yelling at her husband, too.
“I got the kids to all go outside for a bit while I talked to my wife,” the original poster (OP) wrote. “She said I was an unbelievably selfish asshole that couldn’t even give her a break for one weekend. She said none of this would have happened if I hadn’t insisted on picking up my younger kids. She said she wanted my oldest to leave, but I said that wasn’t an option.”
The mom reacted by shutting herself in the room.
After the father said he didn’t want any of his children to leave, the mom had enough.
“She locked herself in our room. I get that childbirth is harder than I’ll ever know and she’s exhausted, but I don’t feel like what she asked for is something I can give. Was I an [expletive] for insisting on getting my kids?”
A lot of Reddit users told the dad he was not in the wrong.
While many users were understanding that the mother in this situation had just given birth, many of them could not help but side with dad and his kids.
One user wrote, “I understand that she just gave birth and that she is exhausted and overwhelmed. But she does not get to pick and choose when you are a father to ANY of your children, and PARTICULARLY not so you can prioritize her as an adult.”
According to the people of the interweb, dad set the right example for his kids.
Another user chimed in and asked, “What message would these two young kids get if you ditched them as soon as there’s a new baby in the house? You did the right thing here.”
Some commenters think that dad could have planned better, however. “Frankly I understand your partner to a point. I can’t think of anything worse than having a house THAT crowded when I’m trying to recover and settle into the newborn routine.”