Samm Jane was left ‘fuming’ after discovering the ‘nasty’ text messages her 12-year-old son had sent a girl at his school – and marched him to her house to apologise
A mum who discovered her son had been sending “nasty” text messages to a girl in his class has forced him to apologise to her in front of her parents by marching him over to her house.
Samm Jane, 32, was left “fuming” when she received a call from her son’s school to inform her that he had been bullying one of his classmates over text.
When her 12-year-old son came home that afternoon, she made him show her the text messages and was horrified to see he had called his classmate “fat” and “ugly”, and soon took him over to the girl’s house to have him apologise to her in person.
The mum-of-five, from Nuneaton, Warwickshire, is determined to make sure her son learns a lesson from the experience, as she doesn’t want to raise boys that “disrespect” women and girls.
She said: “I got a call from my son’s school to let me know he’d been throwing pencils in class.
“Then the woman on the phone said ‘We don’t know what’s been said, but we’re aware that Dave’s been sending nasty text messages to one of the girls in his class’.
“I asked who it was, but they couldn’t say because of data protection. So I was sitting on this information for three hours until my son got home from school.
“I needed to know what he said. I never thought he’d be like this, I’d raised him to never disrespect a girl. I’m a female, I’m a single mum, he should respect me and everybody else around him.
“I took his phone and made him unlock it. He’d sent this girl texts saying ‘I never want to see your ugly face in school. Your ugly face and fat body offend me.’
“She’d text him back saying ‘Stop being horrible to me’. He’d sent voice notes as well going ‘Urgh, you’re disgusting.’
“I was shaking with anger. I was livid. I was like ‘What are you playing at?’ and my son goes ‘She does my head in at school.’
“And I said ‘I don’t give a f**k if she does your head in at school. What gives you the right to speak to her like that?’
“I told him ‘She’s going to be looking in the mirror now and feeling so insecure’. I couldn’t let it go.
“I got on the phone and I made a few calls. Everybody in my area knows where everybody lives, so I found out through one of my neighbours where this girl lives.
“I told Dave we were going around to apologise. Not only to the girl, but to her parents, to her aunts, to her uncles, to whoever was in that house.”
Samm shared a video of the moment she confronted her son on TikTok and has received thousands of comments from parents commending her for the way she handled the situation.
And the full-time carer also had her son buy a £10 apology gift for the girl out of his £100 birthday money haul.
She added: “I took him to the shop. I gave him £10 of his birthday money and told him to go into the shop to get some flowers and chocolates.
“I walked him down to the girl’s house, and I was fuming. I knocked on the door and the girl answered. I asked if her parents were in, and she brought them to the door.
“I said ‘My son has something to say to your daughter’, and he stands there going ‘I’m sorry’. I made him speak up and repeat himself. I made him say what he was sorry for. The mum wasn’t aware of it, the girl hadn’t told her mum.
“I reassured the mum and dad that he wouldn’t speak to anybody like that again. The mum thanked me, and she sent me a text message afterwards saying that I’d been really brave to go around.
“I gave her my address and told her to come round if there were any problems so we could sort it out together.”
Since getting her son to apologise for his actions, Samm has also sat down with him to make sure he understands the impact that his words could have on others.
She explained: “I sat Dave down and explained how people kill themselves or self-harm because of what people say. I couldn’t believe he’d said these things.
“I’m raising a man. My son doesn’t have that male role model so I have to teach him how to be a man and make sure he’s respectful to people. As a single mum, I’ve tried to do my best by him. For him to disrespect a female, it feels like he is disrespecting me.
“I’ve always told him about body positivity, about how women come in different shapes and sizes. That’s why I was so angry – why would he say all these things when I’ve told him to be respectful?
“I was bullied when I was at school, I had to move. I didn’t fit in with the other girls, I didn’t have hair straighteners.
“I’ve always told my kids that it’s okay not to fit in and it’s great to be an individual.”
And Samm has been shocked by the reaction that the video received on TikTok, as she encouraged other parents to “make a change” when they notice disrespectful behaviour in their children.
She said: “I wanted to share it so other people could see it and think ‘I don’t want my boy to be like that’. We’ve got to bring up the next generation.
“I was so shocked by the reaction. I got teary when I saw people complimenting my parenting. My phone was going mad for like three days.
“If a million people have seen that video, then a million parents can make a change.”