Mom Tries to Guilt Woman into Moving Tables Because She Has a Baby, Internet Is Divided
Generally speaking, it’s understood that if you see a mom with a baby looking for a place to sit, then it would be a pretty scummy thing to not give up your chair for them if you’re perfectly healthy and able enough to stand up on your own and walk to another location or stand for a little bit.
Of course, there are plenty of reasons why someone wouldn’t give up their seat for a mom with her child or is visibly pregnant, but it really isn’t a good look if you’re the person sitting down and you outright tell that mama, “no, find another place to sit down.”
However, there are a lot of people who seem to agree with this one Mumsnet user’s decision to tell a mom to kick rocks when she was asked to give up prime seating at a park.
The mom in question was pushing a baby in a stroller with a toddler in tow when user @dosmamasttadopt was asked to give up a table she was saving for her and her wife. But she declined and asked other members of the forum if she was in the wrong for doing so.
She relayed her story: “So my wife and I (same sex couple) are on holiday, we went for a walk this morning and ended up at a tea room where we stopped for cream tea and scones. The tea room was next to a river/stream and the courtyard had one side of picnic tables with umbrellas in the sun over looking the river (good tables) and then another side of the courtyard in the shade were small metal two seater tables (crap tables).”
“We walked in with our dogs and nabbed the last picnic table. Behind our table was a 2m empty gap where the entrance wall/archway was (this is important). My wife went into order. I sat messing on my phone. A lady with a toddler and a sleeping baby in a buggy came into the courtyard had a look around, there were no picnic tables left so she went back through the archway in the direction of the tea room.”
The Mumsnet user went on “About 10 seconds later she came back in and asked if I could move tables so she could sit with her toddler and baby, her husband was inside ordering. I said my wife is inside ordering it’s not just me here. She asked how many of us were there? I said it’s me,my wife and my dogs are under the table (asleep).”
“She asked again there are four of us and only two of you, it would be really helpful because the baby is asleep and I can put the buggy behind us in the gap and watch her. I said I’m really sorry but no this is a really nice spot that’s why we chose it. It was gorgeous, the sun was shining, perfect shade under the umbrella and the river was flowing.”
“I was getting more embarrassed and felt like a crank. An older couple a few tables down offered their table and they would move to the two-seater. She said no she specifically needs this table for the buggy to be out of the way and so she could sit and be next to the baby as she slept.”
“I again kind of shrugged and said I’m sorry but no we aren’t moving. She shook her head at me looked around the courtyard a bit longer and then grabbed the toddler/buggy and left.”
“My wife came back with the food, I told her what happened and she was chuffed that I stood my ground. I was too full of adrenaline to really enjoy the scones or even the nice picnic table, flowing river and sunshine. I was fuming that I was put in that position.”
“Two childless women are pretty much invisible in societies eyes and it really annoyed me. We are childless because of infertility and it stings to be thought of as unworthy of that experience because a mum and baby walked in and thought they had more of a right to that picnic table than us. Although Im sure it’s not that deep.”
She continued, “We passed her out the front on the way out she was at a picnic table but it was in the shade next to the carpark. The baby was still asleep and buggy was right next to their table out of the way. So she actually got what she wanted anyway.”
She continued, “If that’s what is was, or if it was the entire sunshine/river view she wanted. She just fumed/stared at us as we passed, she obviously pointed us out to her husband who looked around at us but didn’t really let on.”
OP wanted to know if she was in the wrong for not giving up the seat and folks had differing opinions in the comments section of her post.
Some users called the mom “rude and entitled” and speculated that the situation would’ve been much different if she was a man seated at the table. Others said that she was right to stand her ground to the stranger, children or not.
Others thought that she was conflating her sexual orientation with the story in an attempt to make it seem like she was unjustly targeted without any type of evidence/merit to suggest she was the target of discrimination. The same user said that if they were in the same position then they would’ve most likely just moved.
However, according to OP, this detail was absolutely relevant, as she said this was “the second time it’s happened” on her vacation and seeing children is a sore subject for her and her wife because her spouse suffered a miscarriage.
And then there were others who said that while they would’ve probably moved for the mom that OP was entirely in the right to decline the woman seating at the table.
What do you think? Should OP have just bit the bullet and moved her seat? Or should the mom not expect other people to acquiesce to her requests because she decided to have children?