There are a lot of wedding traditions that are outdated, but there are still a handful that many engaged couples tend to stick to. Of all of these, a bride wearing a white (or off-white) wedding gown is probably the most enduring tradition.
Of course, not everyone wears a white dress when they get married. Some women opt for colorful gowns or even their own suits, and all options are great … if they’re what the person who is getting married wants to wear.
What’s not great is when a bride-to-be is told she can’t wear white on her wedding day because the groom’s family won’t let her, and that’s exactly what is happening to one 23-year-old woman who is about to get married.
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Family tradition is the problem.
The woman’s boyfriend recently published a post on Reddit explaining that his family doesn’t believe his bride-to-be should wear white on their wedding day because it goes against their own traditions.
His family is very religious.
“So me (32M) and my soon to be wife (23F) are planing to get married in a few months. I come from a very religious house hold with strong Christian beliefs and one of the traditions in my family is if the woman getting married isn’t still a virgin they shouldn’t wear a white dress on their wedding day.”
How does his family even know?
If you’re wondering how his family even knows this intimate information about his girlfriend … well, it’s because his mom flat-out asked:
“My family knows my soon to be wife wasn’t a virgin when I met her because my mom asked me when I started dating her if she was pure, and I was honest and told her she had boyfriends before she met me.”
His girlfriend didn’t take it well.
When he told his girlfriend, she was pretty upset:
“My wife was really upset when I asked her if she could wear a coloured dress on our wedding day but she agreed, so we’re looking at getting glittery blue dress instead.”
Now she’s not sure about the marriage at all.
In fact, she’s even having second thoughts:
“Now she’s saying she won’t marry me because she’s too humiliated by the whole situation, but I really don’t see how it’s a big deal. ”
He wants to know: Is he wrong?
Many people think it’s quite galling that he doesn’t understand why having possibly the most intimate detail of her life splashed all over her wedding venue would be a big deal. People are pretty outraged that his family even had access to this information, and that he gave it so easily.
As one commenter noted:
“This is sick, and I can’t believe your GF stayed with you after this.”
White dresses aren’t even a Christian thing.
Another commenter took it upon themselves to educate the guy:
“This is not a Christian tradition, nor is it a modern tradition. There is no ‘Christian color’ for virginity in marriage or anything else. Biblically, unmarried/virgin women wore multi-colored robes.”
In fact, Queen Victoria is why we wear white dresses now.
The commenter continued:
“Until the early 20th century, blue was the ‘traditional’ color of purity, and weddings were generally held with people wearing whatever their best clothes were. White became en-vogue because of Queen Victoria’s white gown.”
Maybe the relationship should end after all.
Another commenter added:
“Making her parade down the aisle in something so ridiculous it’s like you’re trying to pin a giant scarlet letter on her. I think if you have such a poor opinion of her and want to cause her public embarrassment you should do her a favor and break up now.”
Also … does *his* past matter?
One person brought up a fantastic point: What about the groom’s history?
“I also wonder if you’re a virgin too, but I assume you and your ex are held to different standards.”
Ultimately, a grandmother shut the whole thing down.
By and large, the best comment is from a 65-year-old woman who couldn’t resist jumping in:
“I am a 65 year old Christian grandmother and that is an unkind, judgemental and controlling thing for you to do. Truly it is spirit crushing to hear when people pretend that this kind of finger-pointing idea is Christian in nature. He makes all things new. If you want to love and honor her as your wife ask her forgiveness and God’s for being unkind and encourage her to choose whatever dress she wants.”