An American woman has taken to TikTok to reveal the ‘disadvantages’ of being pretty and the negative experiences she’s faced due to her looks. Model and business owner Emily Adonna, who goes by @emilyadonnaa on the app, says she’s “f**king tired of being pretty”, while also acknowledging that her looks helped her in her modelling career.
Emily shared that being “very pretty” means she has been harassed and grabbed in public and has even missed out on career progression as she was told she was too beautiful, and they feared she would be “distracting”.
“Pretty privilege is a thing, I’m not here to deny that,” she said in the video. “But it comes with disadvantages. I’ve never been in a job where I haven’t been harassed. I’ve rarely been in social situations where I haven’t been harassed. People don’t usually take ‘no’ as an answer with me, because they think I’m something to be possessed.
“People do not ask before touching me in public, I am grabbed regularly. I was once passed up on for a business opportunity because they said that I was too young and beautiful. They thought that would be distracting for the other people in the industry.”
She continued, saying she believes she is treated differently when she wears a mask and dresses differently. Emily said she believes people feel ‘entitled’ to her because of her looks.
“I am treated differently, and it is night and day when I go in public with a mask and raggedy old oversized clothes, and looking how I am right now,” she explained. “When I look raggedy, people don’t touch me, they don’t feel entitled to me. It’s the idea that because I’m present and because I’m pretty, there is a sense of entitlement to that space, or that I’m automatically associated with something sexual.”
She also shared in another video, “In so many situations when I’ve shared negative experiences that have happened to me, the response is always like, ‘Well you’re a beautiful woman, you’re so pretty, you have to be careful, what were you wearing? Were you too nice? Because you’re very pretty.’ That’s the part I don’t like. I should be able to go out and be safe.”
In a third video, Emily shared that she went so far as to get a nose piercing and get tattoos in the hopes that it would make her less desirable.
@emilyadonnaa Replying to @spiritsofedenco #prettyprivilege #womenjustice #equality #model #lgbt ♬ original sound – Em
“I am a beneficiary of pretty privilege. I get that,” she said. “But I’m f**king tired of being pretty. I pierced my face, I got hand tattoos that are culturally designed to destroy beauty. Being pretty is not always a privilege.”
Many commenters didn’t see her point, with one user writing, “Pretty = dumb I don’t think you’ve ever finished a book.”
“Girls who aren’t pretty by societal standards also get harassed in most social and professional situations. it’s not a pretty privilege side effect,” another said.
“Let’s not act like it’s a problem please, be grateful and move on,” a third said.
Others agreed with her, with one user writing, “No I hear you so hard, this happens, it’s not fun.”
“Your experiences and feelings matter,” another added.
“Why people are hating on her? Why should other issues cancel her struggles?” a third said.
“All of that and people downplaying your experiences. The amount of times I’ve been abused is [heartbreaking] it’s lonely & difficult to be taken seriously,” someone else shared.
“Peoples struggles are all different, the fact that y’all are telling her she doesn’t experience these things are proving her point,” yet another added.
“You’re getting so much hate I don’t understand it. I’m sorry for your experience, you deserve better,” one person also shared.