Sometimes, love can blind us to the red flags that slowly eat away at our peace. One of the most exhausting things to deal with is being in a relationship with someone who is, at their core, selfish.
They may not even realize it—or worse, they do, and just don’t care. If you find yourself constantly drained or questioning your worth, here are four major signs that you’re in a selfish relationship.
1. It’s Always About Them
You could be pouring your heart out about a bad day, and somehow, the conversation still ends up being about their problems.
In a healthy relationship, both people feel heard and supported. But if your partner constantly dominates conversations, dismisses your feelings, or makes every situation about themselves, that’s not love—that’s emotional self-centeredness.
2. They Only Show Up When It’s Convenient
You’re there when they need comfort, advice, or attention—but when you need them? Suddenly they’re “too busy” or emotionally unavailable.
A selfish partner loves your presence when it benefits them, but disappears when the roles are reversed. Real love means being reliable, even when it’s inconvenient.
3. You’re Always Compromising—They Rarely Do
Compromise is normal in relationships. But if you’re the one constantly adjusting your needs, your schedule, or your boundaries just to keep the peace, that’s a red flag.
A selfish partner expects you to bend over backwards while they remain rigid. Eventually, this imbalance starts to chip away at your identity.
4. Your Needs Are Treated Like Nuisances
Maybe you’ve expressed something important—like needing more emotional support, intimacy, or simply quality time—but they downplay it or make you feel guilty for asking. In a loving relationship, your needs matter.
If someone makes you feel “too much” or “too needy” just for wanting the basics of emotional connection, they’re not loving you selflessly—they’re loving you when it’s easy.
Bottom line?
Love shouldn’t feel like a one-way street. If you’re constantly giving, compromising, and waiting for them to care the same way you do—it might be time to ask yourself if this relationship is helping you grow, or slowly draining your joy.